We of the Justaminutemen want to know when will the Trump Trials begin?
We summer soldiers and sunshine patriots have been eagerly waiting to see the former “madman in the White House,” as the mayor of Atlanta called him, brought to justice.
According to USA Today, our 45th president had been a litigant prior to his election in 3,500 law suits, proceedings and investigations (the American Bar Association counted 4,000). Bloomberg News reported in 2016 that our See You in Court chief executive had collected 1,300 suits since 2000, including 72 in federal court. James D. Zirin, author of best-selling “Plaintiff in chief,” found that in a Google search “Trump lawsuits” yielded in a trice (0.42 seconds) roughly 21 million hits1.
It has been six months since the immunity shield of the Oval Office has been gone.
The number of times our morally degenerate former guy in the Oval Office has been seen in the dock for alleged actionable offenses? Nada! Zilch! Zip!
Whatever happened to the 2,500 suits pending as he entered the White House in 2017, as Zirin counted in his portrait of Donald Trump’s lawsuits?
Whatever happened to the cases of the 14 women who accused the groper-in-chief of sexual misconduct? Or the charges by the magazine columnist who accused the crooked real estate developer of raping her in the fitting room of a fancy Fifth Avenue department store?
We of the Justaminutemen are concerned that just as he has managed to undermine faith in the integrity of our electoral system, he and his legal team may be in the process of wrecking our system of jurisprudence.
We don’t know exactly how it will be done. But these are the same people who managed to file 62 lawsuits, seeking to overturn the 2020 election on the basis of zero admissible evidence. With crack legal brains like Rudy (America’s Goniff Lawyer) Giuliani and Sidney Powell, who is in touch with Venezuela’s Hugo Chavez, even though he is dead, anything is possible.
We of the Justaminutemen cock our tricorner hats to the pettifoggers who already have convinced one third of the nation — and 70 percent of Republicans, according to a recent CNN poll — that the 2020 election was stolen.
Elected presidents are never choirboys, except in campaign biographies. But none were as ethically degenerate and morally corrupt as our first real estate con man. A graduate of the Roy Cohn School of Disreputable Law, a liar, cheat, untrustworthy in business practice, disrespectful of women, he is what used to be called in his old Queens ’hood “a bum.”
Somehow, we of the Justaminutemen fear, he just may have the right stuff to beat the rap. All of them!
In the beginning, we naively believed in the 1970 Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations Act (RICO) to deal with the lawlessness rampant in the Trump administration.
RICO was aimed at a systematic pattern of criminal activity. Any two of the 30 or so specific criminal acts c could be linked to the Trump administration as a criminal enterprise.
“The greatest cabinet in history,” as the boss called his department secretaries, featured immortals like Sleepy Wilbur Ross never awake after 11AM, and the wife of Sen. McConnell who represented her family’s shipping business as head of the Transportation Department. Potentially the most corrupt since the Grant Administration circa 1872, it was a group interested in conflict rather than conflict of interest.
The pattern of criminal activity was not an organized crime operation, but disorganized crime, all aimed at profiting the Trump family headed by the don himself, the boss of bosses, The Donald. (See “The Trumponicles” et al. at marvinkitman.com).
But RICO only worked, the experts tell us, if the Department of Justice is on board. A DOJ with Deputy Dawg Barr in charge found the Trump business operation in the spirit of the freedom of enterprise that made American white collar crime great again.
“I’d love to see 45 serving 15 to 20,” said one concerned equal justice for all Justaminuteman. “One can only hope.”
The only problem now is his lawyers might manage to kick the legal cans down the road until 2024. Then, win or lose by seven million votes, as Republicans now count elections, Boss Trump will have four more years behind the Oval Office shield, at liberty, as pure as the driven slush.
NEXT: THE GREAT TREASON TRIAL OF 2022
Marvin Kitman, Field Marshal
Hdqs., G-2
May 12, 2021
Click a button below to order your copy of Gullible’s Travels today from one of these fine online retailers:
The same search performed today by the Justaminutemen Special Internet Research Unit took a smidge longer (0.46 seconds), but yielded nearly 82 million hits.
Hysterical Marvin. Rhodium Jim.
Great column, Marvin. I should point out that President Grant was incorruptible. It was the people around him who were crooks.