THE LAST HURRAH

Trumponicles: The Last 120 Days, Part XII

The election is over today. All that’s left is the voting, the counting and cheating, the lawsuits. We are looking forward to a 46th president by Christmas, IF I’m not being overly optimistic. In the meantime, I have a final few words about the accomplishments of America’s leading political idiot.

First, the president was stiffed again by the Nobel Prize people.   It’s the fourth year in a row the leftist anarchists radical agitators in Oslo cheated him out of the just recognition for all that he has done in his various fields of achievement. Self-nominated for the peace award in 2017 and 2018, having done more for world tranquility, in his mind greater than Obama and that peacemonger, the Dali Lama, this time for the prize in physiology and scientific research.

I’m talking about his discovery of a miracle cure for the covid-19 virus. 

In 2020, he had gone where no man of science had gone before in dispensing hydroxychloroquin, a drug made by his friend’s company. Demonstrating the importance of scientific research, he took the hydroxi himself. As further evidence, there was not a single case of malaria in the White House.

I won’t even mention his other contribution to the war against the deadly virus, which he had described as no worse than the flu, the use of a disinfectant chaser.

Luckily, he was not arrested for prescribing medication without a pharmacist’s license.

The president, you should know by now, lives for recognition.

In his four years in office, he already has won the accolade as the greatest liar in the 231-year history of American democracy.

All politicians lie.  But President Donald proved to be the Wilt Chamberlain of liars, smashing all records in the practice of that art form: in volume (22,000 plus in the first 903 days in office, according to WaPo); most lies in a sound bite (19), and single sentence (6).

The latest particularly nonsensical one being that doctors make more money treating Covid cases, thus explaining the ever increasing case numbers. No other man who claimed to be a genius on medical matters seconded that theory.

It was not enough to lie in press conferences where he was plagued with snarky questions requesting evidence for statements of Trumpian alternative facts, by unpatriotic members of the fake news cabal seeking to overturn the fair and free 2016 election that he won with a minority of voters.

He also especially enjoyed lying on Twitter, his favorite place to discuss issues in depth, often lying about both sides of an issue on the same tweet.

It was not enough to have called the deadly virus the flu that would be over by April. For weeks he was reporting the bug was finally rounding the corner and coming down the tunnel with its headlights on. Thanks to him, last week he was able to announce in a press release: the war was over! He had won the war. USA USA also won. So what if an American citizen was still dying every 90 seconds from Covid, according to CNN.

He also was first to call the other leading scientific authority, Dr. Fauci, an idiot. If re-elected, he would fire that fakir.

His other firsts include spending the most time in the East Wing watching cable TV news every morning, not reaching his desk in the Oval Office until 11:30, just in time to take calls from other tyrants and taking lunch in the McDonald’s branch in the West Wing. He also was first in taking vacation days off (270) and visiting his hotel and golf clubs at taxpayers’ expense.

Space limitations prevent a fuller list. Suffice it to say, he already clinched the Keith Olbermann Worse and Worst – both –Person in the World bauble.

It’s may be premature, but he is also a leading candidate to unseat James Buchanan as the dumbest president in our history.

And now the last blow to the man’s reputation is rounding the corner, coming down the tunnel with the lights blazing: losing a fraudulent election, a fraud, a sham, a hoax organized by the left wing fascist radical anarchist agitator looter Democrats to make him look bad.

He knew it was not going to be an honest election, which he defines as one that he wins.

All of this is what happens, in my opinion as a leading Republican strategist and the Pundit of the Year, when you elect an inexperienced, incompetent, genius of a businessman and deal maker with only six bankruptcies to his name, a man who is a total idiot. It was something that could only happen in a democratic country ruled by 34.9 percent of the people, a minority better known as  “the base,” not all of whom are also idiots. Some are morons, imbeciles, and cretins. This not to say there are not some nice people in the base.

President Donald’s greatest achievement of all might be that he has made it hard for a brainless idiot to run for president again.

As Kermit the frog, my favorite political analyst, put it, “ It isn’t easy being green.”

Marvin Kitman
November 3, 2020

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CC-licensed caricature of Donald Trump by DonkeyHotey