A Justaminuteman Emergency Law and Order Bulletin, No. 5

Life is short, an ancient philosopher once prophesized. So is the statute of limitations. For most federal offenses it is five years. That means crimes that occurred as far back as 2016 could be charged until their anniversary date in 2021.

We of the Justaminutemen were reminded of the urgency problem by the cheering news that Cy Vance, the Manhattan district attorney, had finally joined the legal institutions racing to be first to put the man who claims to have won the election of 2020 with seven million fewer votes in the Big House instead of the White House before 2024.

A grand jury, he announced a month ago, has been convened that is expected to decide whether to indict. The panel was scheduled to sit three days a week for the next six months.

At this rate, it is beginning to look like our President In Name Only will be a ninetysomething before he sees justice being done in a court of law. At which time, his smart crooked lawyers will ask the judge to suspend jail time because it would be bad for their client’s health. His doctor’s note will claim he needs to play golf every day for medical reasons.

It’s not as if our PINO is new to law enforcement. He has a rap sheet filled with indictments and scandals that included multiplied bank-and-securities law violations, perennial tax evasion, bribery, extortion. The Poster Boy for shameless lawbreaker, a serial tax evader, liar, racist, bankruptcy aficionado, hypocrite, war-time draft dodger, advocate of free groping, associating with known criminals, total disregard for rules and scruples…

And those were the good things you could say about him.

What is taking so long, we of the Justaminutemen want to know, to lock up the Orange Menace?

Well, there were a lot of papers to read when the world class justice-evader’s financial records were finally handed over to DA Vance’s team, joined by the New York State Attorney General’s office, after three years of being blocked by legal wizards, including America’s Disbarred Lawyer (Rudy G.)

As potential civil and criminal charges pile up at his front door at Mar-a-Largo or forwarded to his home sweet home away from home in New Jersey, we of the Justaminutemen are betting on the state of Georgia to win the most-likely-to-indict-and-convict-him-first race.

He is, as GHW Bush put it, “in deep doo doo” for making that phone call to the Republican secretary of state. That was the conversation in which he attempted extortion in requesting 11,300 votes be thrown out with no admissible evidence of fraud so he could win Georgia and the election in the Electoral College.

The PINO used the legal strategy called The Rhett Butler Defense: “Frankly, Mister Secretary of State, dear, I don’t give a damn for your state of Georgia laws.”

Attempted extortion is a felony, even in Georgia.

The perfect phone calls between the carpetbagger from New York hiding out in Florida, and Brad Raffensberger, the Georgia Secretary of State, was recorded with Trump’s knowledge and consent and then promptly broadcast around the world by the socialists at CNN. You may have heard it.

 “It was like a bad Mafia movie,” as media pathologist Larry Arnstein paraphrased it: “Look, Brad, I’m just trying to help you out here. I don’t want anything bad to happen to your nice restaurant, like maybe somebody comes around at night and burns it down. But you know, for a very reasonable fee, I can make sure that doesn’t happen. And God forbid anything should happen to your family. Your lovely wife and children when they’re on the way to or from school, which I happen to know where it is. I can make sure nothing bad happens to your family also.“

We are not legal scholars. But all a prosecutor needs to do is explain to the jury what “attempted extortion” is, play the tape, and rest her case. In fact, a legal source explained,  ”she’ll probably have time for a few other cases that same day.”

If you’re on that jury, you don’t have to understand a lot of complex instructions from the judge as to what does or does not constitute attempted extortion means. The only difficulty will be to find eleven jurors and a few alternates who have no prior opinion about Trump.

The correct answer is “Donald who?”

We of the Justaminutemen look forward to seeing Mister President-elect fulfilling his duty to society by helping repave Georgia state roads.

While we wait for justice to prevail, we hope for his sake that someone on his staff has ordered a copy of “Cool Hand Luke” for him so he can get an idea of what a chain gang is like.

Marvin Kitman
Field Marshall, Justaminuteman
 June 28, 2021

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