JAIL TO THE CHIEF

A Justaminuteman Emergency Law and Order Bulletin, No. 4

Our president emeritus, victim of “the greatest fraud in U.S history,” cheated out of his second term by an election result he called “the crime of the century,” that former president has been informing members of his inner circle that he is planning to resume leading his country by August.

He will be ending his sabbatical from office in response to the national emergency (the socialist government imposed on the people by the imposter Biden).

At present, there is no existing constitutional remedy to overturn an election after the Electoral College cast results, certified by Congress. But that will be no problem to a chief executive who ran the nation in his first administration without aid of a document he had sworn to uphold but never actually read.

A Free and Honest election is a foundational principle of the American system of self-government. It’s what gives the people faith in democracy. Can we make an exception to the rule of electoral law—that a candidate with the most votes usually wins—that prevailed since 1789 just because a loser claims fraud perpetrated by leftist antifa democratic scum??

We of the Justaminutemen say NO!

True, a crack in the system occurred in the election of 2016 that gave us a minority president with three million fewer votes. Winning an election with seven million fewer votes in 2020 is even worse. It makes USA USA seem like a nation of losers.

 But the second worst person in the world-—first place has gone to Joe Manchin for his role as a filibuster champion in the Senate—the 45th president has been a law unto himself.

President “I Won—By a Lot” has for legal guidance in the current campaign to be reinstated Sidney Powell Esq., the Oliver Wendell Holmes of the legal whizzes who filed the 62 failed suits to overturn 2020 results for lack of admissible evidence.

How will this reversal be possible?

The legal theory was cited by legal brainiac Powell at a recent QAnon conference in Dallas: “He can simply be reinstated.” That brought the house down.

The 70% of Republicans who still believe the election was stolen can’t argue with that kind of thinking, even though totally insane.

All of this is encouraging news for “the patriotic tourists,” as the president laureate called the howling mob he incited to attack the Capitol on the Sixth of January. It further cheered The Proud Boys, Oath Keepers, the Oregon militia, the QAnon drum and bugle corps and other political activists perfecting techniques for storming capitols. The Orange Shirts and the millions of sunshine patriots in the underground are waiting for the call to rise up from Mister Election Integrity.

Was the Sixth of January the dress rehearsal for The Big Show that could take place anytime the instigator-in-chief lights the match?

For the good of the nation, We of the Justaminutemen recommend the following remedial actions be taken forthwith:

  1. His passport needs to be revoked. In the interest of national security, his name should be added to the NO FLY list.

  2. All electronic devices need to be secured. His cell phone is a threat to the nation.

  3. Seize all monies currently being donated to multiple Internet accounts including TRIPLE MATCHES for such charitable causes as funding future legal suits to overturn the election. Already exceeding $200 million, the slush fund should go into escrow to help reimburse taxpayers for the cost of using Air Farce One and other illegal campaign expenses.

As the nation waits for all the ex-president’s legal problems to be sorted out—the hundreds of suits against him at the federal, state and local jurisdictions with all the legal fine points adjudicating his misdemeanors and crimes of high, medium and low finance could cause the legal system to fratz out—His Orangeness is a flight risk. Sequestered, remanded, incarcerated, jailed …whatever his being locked up now is termed will help save the Republic!

As Napoleon did time on the island of Saint Helene, We of the Justaminutemen believe that three months or so on Rikers Island should teach Mister Ex-President something about respect for the law.

Marvin Kitman
Field Marshall, Justaminuteman
June 15, 2021

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